The Power of a Great Question
What if the most influential thing you could do in a conversation wasn't giving advice, sharing your expertise, or presenting the perfect solution? What if it was asking one great question?
Susaan Deemrs-Ghajar
7/15/20264 min read
In today's fast moving world, conversations often become competitions. We want to respond quickly, demonstrate our knowledge, and solve problems as efficiently as possible. While these intentions are usually positive, they often have an unintended consequence. We stop being curious.
The moment curiosity disappears, understanding begins to fade. As leaders, colleagues, consultants, coaches, and change professionals, we sometimes forget that meaningful conversations are not built on answers. They are built on questions. Questions invite people to think, reflect, and share. Questions create connection. Questions build trust. And trust is the foundation of every successful change journey.
Questions create psychological safety
Imagine having a conversation with someone who immediately starts giving advice before you've even finished your story. Now imagine talking to someone who simply asks,
"Can you tell me more about that?"
How do those conversations feel different? The second conversation creates space. It tells you that your thoughts matter. That your perspective is valuable. That someone is genuinely interested in understanding your experience instead of rushing to solve it.
This is one of the most powerful effects of asking good questions. They create psychological safety. People are much more likely to speak openly when they don't feel judged or interrupted. Instead of defending themselves, they begin exploring their own thinking. Often, they discover answers they didn't know they already had.
Curiosity creates commitment
One of the biggest misconceptions in change management is that people commit because they understand the plan. In reality, people commit because they feel understood. When leaders become genuinely curious about concerns, ideas, and emotions, resistance often becomes dialogue.
People don't expect leaders to know everything. They expect leaders to care enough to ask. Questions such as "What concerns you most?", "What would help you feel more confident?", or "What are we overlooking?" communicate respect. They show that every voice matters. That is exactly where commitment begins.
Great questions reveal what facts cannot
Data tells us what is happening. Questions help us understand why. A team may appear disengaged. The numbers may show declining productivity. Attendance may be decreasing. But none of these indicators explain what people are actually experiencing. A thoughtful question often reveals far more than another report.
Perhaps people are overwhelmed. Perhaps they feel uncertain. Perhaps they don't understand why the change is necessary. Or perhaps they simply haven't had an opportunity to share their concerns. Without questions, we make assumptions. With questions, we discover reality.
Listening begins with asking
Many people believe active listening starts the moment someone begins speaking. In reality, active listening often begins with the quality of the question. Open questions encourage people to share. Closed questions often end conversations before they have really started. Compare these two examples.
"Are you okay with the change?" Or
"How are you experiencing the change?"
The second question invites a story. Stories provide context. Context creates understanding. Understanding creates better decisions.
Questions reduce resistance
Resistance is often misunderstood. We frequently see resistance as opposition. More often, it is uncertainty, fear, or a desire to protect something that matters. When we immediately explain, persuade, or defend, resistance usually grows stronger. When we become curious, resistance often softens.
People don't always need immediate solutions. Sometimes they simply need someone who is willing to understand before responding. This simple shift changes the entire conversation.
Practical tips for asking better questions
The first tip is to slow down. Silence is not your enemy. Give people enough time to think before answering. The second tip is to replace assumptions with curiosity. Instead of assuming you understand what someone means, ask them to explain. Questions such as "What makes you say that?" or "Can you help me understand your perspective?" often uncover valuable insights.
The third tip is to ask one question at a time. When people hear three questions in a single sentence, they rarely know which one to answer first. Simple questions often create the deepest conversations. Another important habit is to avoid turning the conversation back to yourself. Many of us respond with sentences beginning with "That happened to me too..." Although well intentioned, this shifts the focus away from the other person. Instead, stay curious. Allow their story to remain their story.
Finally, don't ask questions simply because you have prepared them. Ask because you genuinely want to know the answer. People notice the difference.
Questions make change human
Every change initiative includes uncertainty. People wonder what will happen. Whether they will succeed. Whether their ideas still matter. The quality of leadership during these moments is not measured by the number of presentations delivered or emails sent.
It is measured by the quality of conversations. Conversations where people feel heard. Where concerns are welcomed. Where questions are encouraged. Where curiosity is stronger than assumptions. That is what makes change human.
A skill worth developing
Asking powerful questions is not a talent reserved for coaches or experienced leaders. It is a skill. Like every skill, it improves with awareness, practice, and reflection. Learning to ask thoughtful questions also transforms the way we listen.
Instead of listening for opportunities to respond, we begin listening to understand. And that changes everything. Relationships become stronger. Teams become more engaged. Trust grows. Conversations become richer. And change becomes something people experience together instead of something that happens to them.
If you would like to strengthen your questioning and listening skills, explore our Active Listening eCourse. The course provides practical techniques to help you ask better questions, listen with genuine curiosity, and build stronger relationships in every conversation.
Visit www.susaanconsulting.com to learn more.
Because every meaningful change starts with people. And every meaningful relationship starts with listening.
What question could you ask today that would help someone feel truly heard?
The Human Centered Change Method: curiosity creates commitment.
